Your kid has been showing you that they are not okay. The foul moods, bad sleep, and persistent stomachaches do not have to be your kid’s new normal. You can’t go back in time and keep the abuse from happening. You know this, of course, because you’ve considered every possible way to break time/space to get it done. So what can you do to help?
Bad experiences become traumatic when we are overwhelmed by the threat, and when none of the options available in the moment leave us feeling safe and capable.
In trauma processing therapy, I help your child revisit the worst parts of these experiences to transform their memories of them.
This isn’t about willfully declaring, “I’m over it,” or trying to convince themselves that it wasn’t really that bad.
All memory is a complex process. Any memory of the past reflects not just what happened in the moment, but a lot of what came before and after, and how we make sense of how the pieces fit together.
In trauma processing therapy, I harness the natural process of memory-making to help your kid put their puzzle pieces together in a way that serves them now and as they grow.
When we revisit these experiences in therapy, your kid will:
- Notice the difference between the genuine danger at the time and relative safety now
- Feel connected to supportive adults, instead of isolated
- Recognize the courage and wisdom in their efforts to survive, rather than feeling ashamed about what didn’t work
- Make sense of this experience in light of other things they know about themselves and the world, to validate the hope that the future can include good things
I use two evidence-based models of trauma processing therapy for kids and teens. They have a lot of similarities, and some key differences.
| Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TFCBT) | Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) | |
|---|---|---|
| Getting to know your kid and family | 1 Intake, assessment, and treatment planning | Getting to know your kid and family |
| “PRAC” skills Psychoeducation about trauma and abuse Parenting Relaxation Affect (emotion) regulation Cognitive coping | 2 Recognizing and responding to traumatic stress symptoms | Teaching kids and parents about trauma and abuse, strengthening internal resources, and any other preparation needed before beginning processing |
| Planning the trauma narrative | 3 Selecting traumatic memories to revisit | Creating a roadmap for processing |
| Telling the story of the traumatic event(s) | 4 Reducing the emotional intensity associated with the memory of the traumatic event | Revisiting target memories while engaging in “bilateral stimulation” |
| Re-examining beliefs about self, others, and the world identified while telling the story | 5 Making sense of what it means to have lived through these experiences | Exploring thoughts, feelings, and body sensations related to the target memory while engaging in bilateral stimulation |
| Sharing some or all of the trauma narrative with a trusted adult | 6 Sharing with a trusted adult | Sharing positive beliefs with a trusted adult |
| Desensitization to any remaining trauma triggers using gradual exposure. | 7 Checking in and identifying anything related to the traumatic experience that is still interfering with life | Identifying new targets and completing memory processing with those new targets |
| Reviewing sex education and body safety and skills needed for any anticipated risky situations in the future | 8 Equipping the child and family for the future | Applying positive beliefs to future scenarios of concern |
| 9 Graduation |
Both TFCBT and EMDR are highly effective treatments for childhood trauma. They provide the frame, and we work together to shape the therapy to your child’s unique strengths, needs, and interests.
To learn more about TFCBT and EMDR, visit the links below:
TFCBT
National Child Traumatic Stress Network
EMDR
EMDR International Association
Ready to find out if TFCBT or EMDR are right for your kid?